Everybody is good alone,
but when they come together something goes wrong. I have never come across a
wrong person, but every day I come across wrong relationships. It seems almost
all relationships are wrong. Why? Because they are two – differently made,
differently conditioned, polar opposites to each other, pulling in
different directions, manipulating each other, trying to possess, dominate...
two persons live in two desire worlds, so when they come together those
worlds clashes.
Howsoever you try to
manage it; you will never be able to manage it. Nobody has ever been able to
manage it. It is made in such a way that it simply remains puzzling. The more
you try to make it work out, the more problems they create. The more you try to
understand it, the more elusive it is.
It will never work out
unless you have solved a more fundamental thing about
yourself, without that, you cannot solve it. Two persons that are in confusion,
who don’t know who they are – naturally they multiply each other’s confusion,
they magnify it. If you want to make an impossible thing possible then start
from yourself, by loving yourself, respecting yourself, and being gentle with
yourself. Unless you show love towards yourself you cannot love at all. Unless
you care about yourself you will not care about anybody else; and this will
help you understand what love really is and it will help you love without
jealousy, to give freedom to others without being possessive or dominating, these
are part of what you need in order to avoid the pitfalls in relationship you
have to be a giver before you enter into it, if not you will fall into a pit,
although you will come out and try to look for another pit unknowingly.
It will never workout if you enter into a relationship just because you want
someone to love you or because you want to be having sex, so majority of
relationships today exist because people want something out of them, They
pretend to love each other, but basically they are interested in fulfilling
their hunger and once the hunger is fulfilled the false love will disappear.
Naturally when you are
hungry the food you are preparing will look very appealing: the aroma, the
flavor, even the sounds coming from the kitchen will sound appealing to you.
Once you are contented, and you have eaten enough, all the beauty and all the
poetry about the food disappears. In fact if you are forced to eat a little
more of that food you will become nauseating, sickening; that same
food which was so beautiful will suddenly become so ugly to eat.
To make it work out remember you have to be the giver not the needy, and also remember
that before you can give out something you must have it, because when you
are trying to give something which you don’t have or you are trying to get
something from somebody who has not got it in the first place, the result
will be misery and frustration or how do you think two needy people will be in
a relationship without having problems when each one is expecting the other to
provide his/her needs?
