The reason for this, is because everybody is a sexual being and this
means that everybody came out from sex. This is one of the things that are
causing problems in a relationship, because people are mixing up sexual
relationship with love relationship. But it is better to call a spade, a spade
if we are ready to dissolve the miseries that are always accompanying all
relationships. In most cases, people will be in sexual relationship and
claiming or thinking that they are in a love relationship
The sexual
relationship is one thing and love relationship is another. The sexual
relationship is a kind of relationship that uses people and reducing them to a
thing. Sexual relationship is a kind of relationship that only knows how to take;
it does not know how to give, even if it gives, that gift is baiting; hence the
sexual relationship remains that of conflict.
Lust is another name for sexual relationship and lust motive is to have
sex and remember that, there is nothing
wrong with having sex, it is one of the great things in this world that people
do not know much about , the only thing they do is to abuse it either by
repressing it or indulging in it. Lust
means you don’t respect the other at all, you are just after sex. And it is
better to be open about it instead of claiming that you love the person. Lust
seeks the other because it is his need; he is needy and greedy. If your
relationship is defined by sex only and it has nothing more in it, then that
relationship will be like a relationship men create with prostitutes and the
kind of relationship men have with prostitute is a sexual relationship.
Love relationship is another thing, it moves a little higher, the person involve is no longer using the
others as a tools. Love gives dignity to the other, sex takes away all dignity.
Love knows how to give and how to take. Love is more harmonious; it is a
give-take relationship: one gives, one takes. There is more friendship in it
than in a sexual relationship, there’s less antagonism and more accord. Love is
a harmony between two. Love is like two universe beating on the same rhythm,
dancing hand in hand, melting, merging, and becoming almost an organic unity. If
your love fails, it simply means you don’t know what love is and it is an
indicator that your initial motive is sex.
In a love relationship sex may happen, and it might not happen; there is
no inevitability about it. If it happens then it is part of love, of sharing
energy. If it does not happen, that too is part of love. Because love can be
expressed in different dimension, at least three dimensions: the physical,
which can become sex; the psychological, which becomes friendship; and the
spiritual, which becomes communion. And it is possible that in love all three
dimensions may be present simultaneously, but they are all part of a loving
approach towards life. There is no exploitation; there is no desire to use the
others as tools and then throw them away
Having known this, if you are
after sex then it’s better to let it out, or go for a whore instead of
pretending to be in a love relationship because you might win the war and loose
the battle.
