Everybody hates the same person they love
sometimes and the hatred is always directed to the same person. That is why there’s
conflict between lovers, constant quarreling.
Love cannot exist without hate. This is the illogicality of life: hate cannot exist
without love either. But if you go into books and if you look through logic,
you divide. You say,”Always love, never hate.” This is not true about life it’s
like you are creating a fiction of love. And this is what is creating
difficulties for people. People expect and desire that a relationship should be
a hundred percent joy – which cannot be, which is not naturally possible. No
relationship has ever been, no relationship will ever be. A hundred percent joy
is not possible through marriage; it is not in the nature of things. People
expect a hundred percent joy. That is foolish, that is not practical, and that
is living in dreams. And if you expect that much joy you will create more
misery than was natural – because there will be more frustration. The higher
your desire, the deeper you will feel frustrated. The more perfect an ideal,
the more you will feel that you cannot make it, that you fall short
To understand life, this is one of
the very fundamentals to see, that each thing implies its opposite and each
thing automatically turns into its opposite
When you are in love you think, ”Now
I will love for ever and forever” – and you have forgotten how life functions. You
might be in love in the morning and by
evening it might turn to hatred or anger – it’s BOUND to arise; you cannot do
otherwise. In choosing love you have chosen hate too; that is the other aspect
of the same coin. But now you are in misery, you think you are betraying. You
might think,”How is it happening? Why is it happening? Why is it happening to
me? Why can’t I love forever? Why can’t my lover love me forever? In the
morning he was so much interested in me, and now he wants to be alone, left
alone. What has happened? Where did I go wrong?”
Why does everything turn into its
opposite? Nobody
wants it to be so; still it turns so it is the way of existence; it is how
things move. Just as fire burns because it is its nature to burn, so also love
has its own nature and this is the nature of existence, that automatically
turns into its opposite. Why does it turn into its opposite? Because the
opposite is only opposite seen from the surface. Seen from the deep core of reality it
is not opposite but complementary.
A love relationship is really a
relationship of love-hatred: coming closer, going away, coming closer, going
away. In a love relationship sweetness comes and goes, and when sweetness goes
it leaves bitterness behind. A love relationship is a rhythm between sweet and
bitter. The truth is that nothing is eternal including love and this
understanding will help you to reduce the misery or avoid the problems or
frustration in the relationship.
